When Staying Begins to Damage the Soul

Habib Kazim once spoke with wisdom and compassion about how evil can develop in a person through the ruh due to the experiences and environments they are exposed to. Using the example of Qabil who killed his brother Habil not because of power or gain but out of jealousy, Habib highlighted how deep-rooted envy and unprocessed emotions can corrupt a person from within.

He reminded us that this evil does not appear overnight. It develops slowly through wounds that are never healed, pain that is never addressed, and circumstances that are never properly navigated. He said something so important and timely: evil can develop in human beings through certain experiences they have.

We must understand that nobody is perfect. We all carry wounds and stories. But what matters is how we respond. We cannot keep blaming jinn, sihr, or external factors alone for our struggles while ignoring the work we need to do within. Yes, those things exist, but often it is our inward state, our unhealed emotions, and our lack of action that keep us stuck.

Habib emphasised that we must deal with our circumstances appropriately. And for some people, especially those in abusive relationships or toxic environments, the best and most spiritually intelligent thing to do is leave. Not everyone can change their environment, but if you can and it is harming your ruh, it is better to walk away than to be consumed by it.

Because what begins as endurance can slowly turn into resentment

And what begins as patience can evolve into bitterness

And eventually, you might no longer recognise who you have become

You begin thinking thoughts you never thought you would

You begin to feel anger where once there was hope

And your soul begins to harden without you even realising

Habib also reminded us that there are adhkār and specific remembrances of Allah that protect us from harm. But even with these spiritual tools, if the situation continues to drain you, diminish you, or cause emotional and spiritual harm, the most loving and faithful thing you can do is to leave.

This is not about giving up

This is about safeguarding what Allah has entrusted you with

Your ruh, your heart, your emotional well-being

Our communities often struggle with this balance. We are told to have sabr, to stay no matter what, to be the bigger person, to remain for the sake of family or reputation. But this is not always the right path. Habib’s words are a reminder that true sabr is about choosing what pleases Allah, and Allah never asks you to destroy yourself or lose yourself in the name of patience.

Your ruh is sacred

Your well-being matters

And your connection with Allah should never be sacrificed for a toxic situation

If you are in a space that is dimming your light

And you have tried with sincerity and ihsān

Then trust that walking away can be an act of worship too

It can be a means of saving your soul from resentment and darkness

May Allah protect our hearts

May He grant us clarity, healing, and strength

And may He guide us to people and places that nurture us rather than break us

Ameen