If You’re Afraid to Be Yourself, It’s Abuse

If you find yourself changing the way you speak, behave, or express your emotions because you are afraid of how your partner will respond, that is not love or respect. That is fear, and it is a sign of abuse.

No one should have to walk on eggshells in a relationship. You should not feel the need to carefully rehearse your words or suppress your feelings just to avoid an outburst, silent treatment, guilt-tripping, or emotional withdrawal. When love is real, it creates safety. It allows honesty. It makes room for your emotions and opinions without the threat of punishment.

Abuse is not always loud or violent. Sometimes it is hidden in the fear you carry. The hesitation before you speak. The weight in your chest when they enter the room. The anxiety when your phone rings. The dread of being misunderstood or attacked for simply being yourself.

If you constantly ask yourself

• Will they get angry if I say this

• Maybe I shouldn’t bring this up now

• Let me just stay quiet to keep the peace

• I don’t want to upset them again

That is not peace. That is emotional imprisonment.

In a healthy relationship, your heart feels safe. Your words are heard. Your feelings are respected. You are allowed to disagree without fear. You are allowed to express your needs without being mocked or belittled.

Islam teaches us that relationships are built on compassion, mercy, and mutual dignity. When the Prophet ﷺ was asked about the best of people, he said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” That includes emotional safety, not just financial support.

Fear has no place in love. If your relationship is built on fear rather than trust, it is not love. It is control.

You deserve to be in a space where you can breathe freely

Where you do not have to shrink yourself

Where you are safe to be soft, expressive, and human

And if you are not in that space, know that Allah sees your pain

You are not alone

Healing begins with recognising the truth and trusting that you were never created to live in fear