After You Leave: When Waswasa Tries to Pull You Back

Leaving a narcissist or walking away from a toxic relationship is one of the bravest things you can do. It takes courage to let go of what was breaking you. It takes strength to choose peace over pain. And it takes immense tawakkul to trust that Allah has something better ahead.

But what many people do not talk about is what happens after you leave.

The waswasa begins to whisper louder.

It sounds like:

“Maybe I made the wrong decision”

“What if I was the problem all along?”

“What if no one else ever wants me?”

“Maybe I should have been more patient”

“Maybe I just destroyed my own family”

These thoughts do not come from Allah. They are the whispers of Shaytaan and the Qareen, preying on your vulnerability, feeding your fear, and twisting your healing into regret.

You must understand. When you walk away from oppression, you are not just leaving a person. You are breaking the entire spiritual control system that was built around you. The narcissist no longer has access to you, so the whispers increase in hopes of pulling you back into bondage. If they cannot control you physically, they will try to do it mentally.

This is where spiritual warfare begins.

Because now you are alone. The noise has stopped. But the silence is filled with thoughts that feel like your own, but they are not. They are carefully planted doubts and regrets meant to undo all your progress.

This is the Qareen’s role. To pull you back into darkness. To distort your sense of self. To romanticize your abuser. To make you believe that peace is too lonely, and pain was better than this emptiness. And Shaytaan will dress this whisper in religious language too:

“You’ve ruined your children’s lives”

“You’ve failed at marriage”

“Allah is disappointed in you”

But none of that is from Allah. That is waswasa. That is Shaytaan trying to ruin your healing journey before it even begins.

Allah would never shame you for leaving harm.

Allah would never guilt you for seeking peace.

Allah would never whisper hopelessness into your heart.

Allah is the One who opened the door for you to walk away. The One who heard your silent tears. The One who gave you the strength to finally choose yourself. Why would He now abandon you in guilt?

You must learn to recognise the whisper. And respond with remembrance.

Remind yourself of who you were becoming while you were in that relationship

Remember how your soul was suffocating

Reflect on how Allah kept sending signs and opening doors

Make du‘ā for Allah to purify your mind from any lingering effects of control

Say: A‘ūdhu billāhi min ash-shaytānir-rajīm every time doubt creeps in

And most importantly. Do not return. Not physically. Not emotionally. Not mentally. The waswasa will try to pull you back, but you do not owe your past a second chance. You owe your soul peace. You owe your heart protection. You owe your Lord trust.

Waswasa is louder after freedom because now you are a threat. A woman who chose herself is dangerous to Shaytaan’s agenda. A woman who knows her worth cannot be manipulated again. A woman who healed becomes a light for others. And darkness always tries to silence light.

But light always wins when it stays close to the Source.

So stay close to Allah. Anchor yourself in dhikr. Ground yourself in truth. And do not believe everything you think.

You are not broken.

You are not failing.

You are finally free.

And with that freedom comes tests, but also a strength you never knew you had. Keep going. And keep quieting every whisper that tells you to turn back.

You were never meant to go back. You were meant to rise.

And Allah is with you every step of the way.

Ameen.