When Anger Knocks on Your Heart

Anger is a real and powerful emotion. It often comes when something matters to you. When someone crosses a line. When something feels unfair. When you feel hurt, unheard, or misunderstood.

But for many of us, especially as Muslim women, we’ve been told that anger is wrong. That if we feel angry, we’re not good. That we must always stay quiet, patient, and calm. Culture sometimes makes us believe that a “good woman” never gets angry. That she just accepts everything with a smile, no matter how painful it is.

Even in Islamic spaces, we sometimes misunderstand anger. We hear stories of the Prophet ﷺ controlling his anger and we think it means we’re never allowed to feel it. But that’s not true. Islam teaches us not to act out of anger in harmful ways — not to shout, hurt others, or be unjust. But feeling anger itself is not a sin. It is part of being human.

Even the Prophet ﷺ felt anger. He felt it when people were mistreated. When truth was ignored. When boundaries were crossed. But he responded with wisdom, not rage. With strength, not destruction.

So anger is not a sign of weakness. It is not a sign that you are a bad person. It is a sign that you are alive, that something inside you is saying, This is not okay. It is there to show you something important. Maybe something needs to change. Maybe something needs healing. Maybe you need to speak up. Or maybe you need to walk away.

What matters is not to let anger take over. Not to let it control your words, your actions, or your life. Instead, sit with it. Ask yourself, Why am I feeling this way? What is really going on inside me? What do I need right now?

You can learn from it. Heal through it. Grow with it.

So don’t bury your anger. It doesn’t make you bad. And don’t explode with it either. It doesn’t have to break you or your relationships.

Let your anger guide you back to yourself. Let it show you your worth, your needs, and your voice. And always return to Allah with what you feel. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him to calm your heart. Ask Him to help you respond in ways that bring peace, not more pain.

You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to express. You are allowed to be human.

May Allah help us all understand our emotions, respond with wisdom, and use what we feel as a way to grow closer to Him. Ameen.