How Do We Let Go and Truly Have Tawakkul?

Over the last two posts we spoke about control, and many sisters reached out saying, “I know I need to let go, but how do I actually do it?”

The truth is, letting go of control is not easy. Especially when control has been part of how we survived. When you are used to planning every step, protecting yourself from every possibility and managing everything around you, letting go can feel unsafe.

But why is it so hard to surrender to Allah when our hearts know He is in control?

It is because we cannot trust someone we do not truly know.

Yes, we know about Allah. We know His name. We know He is Al-Qadir, Al-Rahman, Al-Hakeem. But truly knowing Allah is different from knowing about Him. Deep trust only comes when the heart is familiar, when the soul has a relationship with Him, not just information.

Think back to when we were infants. We trusted completely. We trusted our parents. We trusted the world around us. We were born with fitrah, pure trust in Allah. No fear. No doubts. No control. But as we grew, life happened. Maybe we faced disappointment, abandonment, fear, trauma. Maybe we saw people around us constantly stressed, constantly trying to control. Maybe we heard people say they trust Allah, yet live in fear and anxiety. So without even realising it, we learned to rely on ourselves more than we relied on Allah.

For some, it goes even deeper. We were taught about Allah only as someone who punishes, someone who becomes angry, someone we must fear. So the heart became unsure. Just like with people, if someone is always angry and harsh, how do we trust them? We may obey them, but we struggle to feel safe with them. And if the heart does not feel safe, it cannot surrender.

So how do we develop true tawakkul?

How do we let go?

We must build a real relationship with Allah.

We must learn to know Him, not just know about Him.

That begins with conversation. Speaking to Allah the way you speak to someone you trust. Telling Him your fears, your dreams, your mistakes. Whispering to Him through tears, through sujood, through silence. Just as trust between humans is built through honest conversations, trust with Allah is built through heartfelt connection.

Then, through learning His names and attributes. Not just reading them, but understanding them. When you truly know that Allah is Al-Wakeel, the Ultimate Trustee, your heart begins to rest its worries. When you feel that He is Al-Lateef, the One who cares for you in the most delicate ways, your fear begins to melt. When you understand that He is Ar-Rahman, the Most Merciful, your soul finally feels safe to surrender.

The more you know Him, the more you understand Him.

The more you understand Him, the more you feel connected to Him.

The more connected you feel, the more you love Him.

And when you love Him deeply, you finally trust Him more than you trust yourself.

That is where Tawakkul lives.

Not in the mind. In the heart.

Letting go is not something you force. It is something that naturally happens when the heart feels safe with Allah. When you know that He will never choose anything for you that will truly harm you. When you believe that even in pain, He is still protecting you. When you trust that His plan carries wisdom, even if it comes with tears.

So if you are struggling to surrender, do not blame yourself. It simply means your heart is still craving to know its Lord. And that is a beautiful journey to begin.

Speak to Him. Learn His names. Reflect on how He has carried you all these years. Watch how slowly, gently, your grip begins to loosen, not because you gave up, but because you finally felt safe enough to let go.

That is Tawakkul.

A love so deep that control becomes unnecessary.

A trust so strong that surrender feels like peace.

And that is exactly what Recognising Allah is about. It is a journey of learning who Allah truly is through His Names and Attributes, so that trust is no longer something we force ourselves into. It becomes a natural response of the heart.

When you know the One you are relying on, tawakkul stops feeling like letting go into the unknown. It starts to feel like safety, like coming home.

If you want to walk this path of knowing Allah more deeply, here is the link to the series:

May Allah lead our hearts back to Him in trust, love and certainty. Ameen.