Why We Struggle with What We Know We Should Be Doing
Have you ever felt that inner pull where your heart knows what is right, yet your actions just do not follow? Maybe it is the hijab you have been meaning to wear consistently but it feels so heavy. Or the Salaah you delay until the last moment because your mind is distracted and your heart feels distant. Or that bad habit, whether it is gossip, music, social media, or even certain friendships, that you keep holding on to even though you know it steals your peace.
It is easy to think the problem is just willpower, that we are weak or not strong enough. But often, the root goes deeper. Most of the time, our struggle is not just with the action. It is with the heart.
We only choose what we believe is good for us in that moment. If we choose something that displeases Allah, it is not usually because we want to rebel. It is because, in that moment, we believe, whether we realise it or not, that the other option feels better, easier, safer, or more fulfilling. That belief comes from how we understand or misunderstand Allah and His commands.
Take hijab as an example. Many sisters feel torn because society paints a picture where beauty and freedom are tied to how much we show, not cover. The hijab feels heavy, not because of the fabric, but because of the story our hearts believe about it. If hijab feels like a cage, it will always weigh on us. But when we start to understand that Allah only commands what protects and honours us, that hijab is not a barrier but a shield and a statement of who we truly are, it slowly shifts from being a weight to a crown.
Or Salaah. There are days it feels like a tick-box task, a duty we push through. But what is Salaah truly? It is not just prayer. It is a private audience with the Lord of the Worlds, five times a day, where He invites us to leave behind the chaos of the world and speak to Him directly. When our hearts truly see it like that, we stop asking, “How can I fit Salaah into my day?” and instead begin to wonder, “How can I survive a day without it?”
Even the habits we know harm us, whether gossip, music, endless scrolling, or friendships that pull us away from Allah, we cling to them because we think they comfort us. Yet the comfort they bring is fleeting. When we take the time to learn, reflect, and replace those things with what Allah loves, such as dhikr, Qur’ān, and good company, we find a peace that does not disappear when the song ends or the conversation fades.
So when you find yourself struggling, do not only try to force your way through with discipline. Go deeper. Ask yourself:
Do I truly understand why Allah has asked this of me?
Do I trust His wisdom more than my own feelings?
What is my heart believing about this command? Is it seeing it as a burden or as a gift?
The reality is, Allah never commands us to do something to make life harder. He says in the Qur’ān, “Allah does not intend to make difficulty for you, but He intends to purify you and complete His favour upon you so that you may be grateful” (5:6). Every act of worship, every command, every boundary, is there to protect us, purify us, and draw us closer to Him, the One who loves us more than any soul ever could.
And it is okay if you are not there yet. Understanding grows over time. Hearts soften when we keep learning, reflecting, and asking Allah to open our eyes to His wisdom. Take small steps. One habit, one prayer, one reminder at a time.
Because the more we know Allah, not just about Him but truly know Him, the more our hearts will naturally incline towards Him. And when the heart is convinced, the body follows with ease. What once felt heavy begins to feel like home.
May Allah make our hearts firm on His path, fill them with love for Him, and make every act of obedience a source of sweetness and peace for us.