The Weight of Judgment: How It’s Destroying Us as an Ummah
It truly saddens me how deeply ingrained judgment has become in our society. It has been breaking people, generation after generation, leaving behind a cycle of pain, pressure, and unrealistic expectations. People live their entire lives feeling as though they are never enough—not because they actually aren’t, but because of the impossible standards imposed upon them by others.
Instead of uplifting one another, we have created an environment where people are constantly scrutinised—where their choices, struggles, and even their personal growth are measured against rigid expectations that are often shaped by culture, not by Islam. And the result? A society filled with people who are drowning in self-doubt, suffocated by fear, and paralysed by the weight of others’ opinions.
This Is Not Islam
Islam is a Deen of mercy, not judgment. The Prophet ﷺ was sent as a mercy to the worlds, not as a harsh critic of people’s personal journeys. He met people where they were, with kindness, compassion, and understanding. Yet, as an ummah, we have strayed far from this prophetic example.
We shame people instead of guiding them.
We push people away instead of welcoming them.
We demand perfection instead of allowing space for growth.
Allah Himself does not expect perfection from us. He knows our weaknesses, our struggles, and our flaws. He calls us back to Him with love, reminding us that His mercy is always greater than our mistakes. So who are we to place unrealistic expectations on others, to dismiss them for their struggles, or to act as if we have the right to determine someone else’s worth?
The Damage Judgment Creates
Judgment is not just a personal flaw—it is a disease that infects the entire ummah. When we create an atmosphere of constant criticism:
People begin to live for others, not for Allah. Instead of focusing on sincerity (Ikhlās), they become consumed by the fear of what others will say.
It causes emotional and spiritual damage. People internalise the judgment, believing they are not good enough, not worthy of love, and not deserving of forgiveness. This can lead to deep emotional wounds, depression, and even turning away from the Deen.
It creates a culture of hypocrisy. People learn to hide their struggles rather than face them, fearing judgment more than seeking self-improvement. They wear masks of religious perfection while internally battling guilt, shame, and confusion.
The saddest part is that many people who need love, support, and encouragement the most are the ones being pushed away. They long to return to Allah, but the harshness of society makes them feel unwelcome.
A Call to Be Better
We need to change. Not just for ourselves, but for the generations after us. We need to create a culture that encourages growth instead of stifling it. We need to learn to be:
More empathetic – Everyone is carrying a burden we cannot see. Instead of judging, try to understand.
More respectful – Not everyone’s journey will look the same. We are all different, and that’s okay.
More merciful – Just as we hope for Allah’s mercy, we should extend mercy to others.
More encouraging – Instead of tearing people down, lift them up. Remind them of their worth, their potential, and their ability to change.
A United Ummah Begins with Us
If we truly want to be a strong ummah, we must first fix what is broken within ourselves. Judgment is a poison, but empathy is the cure. Let’s start creating a culture of kindness, a space where people feel safe to grow, to learn, and to return to Allah without fear.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Make things easy and do not make them difficult. Give glad tidings and do not repel people.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Let’s be the people who make things easy. The ones who bring others closer to Allah with love, rather than driving them away with judgment. Let’s be better.
This post has been inspired by all those who have been sending me messages expressing how they feel unloved by Allah because others are telling them that He doesn’t love them, and to those who feel pressured and overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations. If this is how you’ve been feeling, know that your worth is not in the hands of people—it is with Allah, the Most Loving and Most Merciful. May we all learn to embody His mercy in how we treat one another.