The Bitterness Before the Sweetness
“He does not break His believing servant except to mend him.” – Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله
Sometimes, the pain feels too deep, too sharp, too endless.
A heartbreak, a loss, a betrayal, or a door slammed shut when you needed it most. And in that moment, it’s easy to wonder… Why would Allah let this happen to me?
But Allah, in His absolute mercy and perfect wisdom, never allows us to break without reason.
Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله so beautifully reminds us:
“From the perfection of Allah’s ihsan (excellence and bounty) is that He allows His servant to taste the bitterness of the break before the sweetness of the mend.”
Even in our lowest moments, when we feel broken or tested or forgotten, Allah is still giving.
He is preparing you
He is not punishing you
He is purifying you
He is not taking from you
He is making space for better
Every delay, every disappointment, every closed door comes with divine precision.
He withholds only to give
He tests only to heal
He breaks only to mend
But here is what we must be careful of.
Sometimes, in the midst of the pain, shaytaan whispers.
He tells you that Allah does not love you
That your du’as are being ignored
That your effort is wasted
That this is punishment, not mercy
And if we are not mindful, we start to distance ourselves from the One we need the most.
We stop praying with presence
We stop making du’ā with conviction
We stop believing that ease will come
And our hearts slowly begin to harden
This is the trap of shaytaan.
He wants your test to take you away from Allah
But your test was sent to bring you closer to Allah
To help you know Him
To help you understand His names
To feel His mercy
To taste His wisdom
To learn how deeply you are loved
You will not understand His Qadr through logic alone
You will understand it through connection
Through reflection
Through trust
When you begin to see your life through the lens of His names, your heart shifts.
Ar-Rahmān never forgot you
Al-Hakīm never made a mistake in your story
Al-Latīf was always gentle in the way He guided you
Al-Wakīl has always been taking care of what you do not even know about
Acceptance does not mean you are not allowed to feel sadness or pain
Acceptance means you trust that what Allah chose for you is better than what you wanted for yourself
It means you surrender knowing that He knows the unseen
He knows what you do not
And He only allows what will purify you and protect you, even if it hurts
So to every sister holding her pain quietly
Know this
The sweetness always follows the bitterness
The healing always follows the wound
The light always follows the night
And Allah always comes through
Not in the way we expect
But in the way we need
Let yourself be mended
Let your heart learn the lesson hidden in the pain
Let your soul return to the One who never left your side
Reflection prompts for you:
What moment in your life felt like a ‘break’ that later led to something beautiful or strengthening?
What are you currently being prepared for, rather than punished by?
In what ways can you get to know Allah better so you can understand His Qadr with more love and trust?
Where might shaytaan be trying to make you give up or distance yourself from Allah, and how can you respond with awareness and connection?
You are not forgotten
You are not being punished
You are being refined by the Most Loving
And what He has chosen for you has more beauty than you can yet see
Trust His Qadr
Return to Him
And let the sweetness come