Overthinking: A Silent Struggle Many Sisters Face

One of the things I get the most messages about is overthinking. So many sisters reach out, saying they feel stuck in their minds, constantly replaying things, doubting themselves, and feeling weighed down by thoughts they can’t seem to control. It’s more common than we realise, and sadly, many suffer in silence, thinking they’re the only ones going through it. You’re not alone in this.

Overthinking is something so many of us experience, but very few talk about. Especially in our Muslim communities, where expectations are high and culture often adds pressure, overthinking can quietly eat away at our peace of mind.

It can start with one small thought.

“What if I’m not doing enough?”

“What will people think?”

“Did I say the right thing?”

“What if I made the wrong decision?”

Before we know it, we’re replaying conversations, questioning our intentions, fearing the future or regretting the past. It becomes a cycle of worry, guilt, and self-doubt.

Many sisters carry the silent burden of overthinking, especially when they’re trying to be good daughters, wives, mothers or simply good Muslims. Cultural beliefs often make it worse. We’re taught to always please others, to avoid making mistakes, to never show weakness. So we think. And think. And think.

But here’s the truth: overthinking is not from Allah.

It is something shaytan thrives on.

Shaytan wants you stuck in your head.

He wants you to question yourself constantly.

He wants to plant waswas (whispers) that confuse your heart and stop you from moving forward.

That’s why it’s so important to recognise overthinking as something you don’t have to accept. You can begin to change the way you think, one moment at a time.

Start by being aware of your thoughts. Gently ask yourself:

“Is this thought helping me or hurting me?”

“Is it bringing me closer to Allah or further away?”

And then say:

“Ya Allah, if this thought does not serve me, if it’s not from You, then please take it away from me.”

There is so much power in this du’ā. You’re inviting Allah into your mind. You’re giving Him permission to clear out what doesn’t belong.

Instead of allowing your thoughts to spiral, try this:

• When a negative thought comes, turn it into a du’ā

Example:

“What if things go wrong?”

Change it to: “Ya Allah, make things easy for me and let them go right.”

• When you feel overwhelmed, recite:

Hasbiyallāhu Lā ilāha illa Huwa

“Allah is enough for me. There is no god but Him.”

• When guilt consumes you, say:

Astaghfirullah

“I seek Your forgiveness, Ya Rabb. Help me let go.”

• When you feel anxious about the future, say:

Tawakkaltu ‘ala Allah

“I place my trust in You, Ya Rabb.”

And one of the most beautiful and powerful remedies for an overthinking mind is to recite Salawāt upon the Prophet ﷺ.

Send peace and blessings upon him, especially when your thoughts feel loud, restless or scattered. Salawāt brings peace to the heart, calms the mind, and invites the mercy of Allah into your life. Even just softly repeating:

“Allāhumma ṣalli ʿalā Muḥammad”

can begin to clear the clutter in your head and bring you back to the present moment, with peace and a sense of closeness to Allah.

Overthinking can become a habit, but it is not who you are. You are not your thoughts. You are a servant of Allah, and your mind is a tool that can either help you grow or hold you back.

Give yourself permission to unlearn the noise culture taught you.

You do not need to be perfect. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to not have all the answers. You are allowed to let Allah carry your worries.

If you find that the overthinking becomes extreme, or that you’re unable to manage it on your own despite your best efforts, please know that it’s okay to seek help. Speaking to someone you trust or a therapist can be part of the healing. It’s not a weakness. It’s a strength to ask for support when your heart and mind are heavy.

Remember, not every thought deserves your attention.

Replace it with dhikr.

Replace it with du’ā.

Replace it with silence and sukoon.

And always remind yourself:

“If this thought does not serve me, Ya Allah, let it leave me.”

May Allah give us all calm minds, peaceful hearts and the ability to think in ways that bring us closer to Him.

Ameen.